Humility

It has been quite a while since I have been able to get on here to post. Unfortunately, the application on my iPad has stopped working, and it has become difficult for me to write. Let me just say that in case there are weird symbols... I am typing on a Spanish keyboard.

The past two weeks have been extremely interesting, and God has worked in mysteriously wonderful ways (as usual). My team was supposed to spend the past week in South Texas with our boss, Steve. Unfortunately, our vehicle which we so kindly named "Explodition", decided to break down about six hours into our sixteen hour drive. The first three hours of our drive were literately in the middle of nowhere New Mexico, and none of us had any cell service almost the entire time. Praise God that He allowed us to break down in the middle of civilization! Ironically we did break down in front of a dairy farm, but regardless... we were safe from harm and could call a tow truck. We ended up spending the night in a hotel in Las Cruces, NM while waiting for our car to be fixed. Although it was an extremely stressful situation, we had not had a break in almost two weeks and it ended up being a blessing in disguise. We were able to shower, swim, work out, shop at Target , and then sleep in a BED with PILLOWS. The car was fixed the next day, but our boss decided to send us up to Joplin, MO early rather than us make the drive down to South Texas since we were already so late. We made the sixteen hour drive, until about 20 minutes from our destination, in which our lovely vehicle decided to break down once more. Thankfully, our team was able to come save us and we towed the vehicle once again to our destination. We had the first day off for our troubles (thank you staff!), followed by a rainy day, and then one half day of work. I was blessed to go home for an overnight layover, and I have mixed emotions about it... but am thankful none the less. It is almost harder having that opportunity and then leaving once more. I miss everyone so much.

For the past month, one of my talks to the teens has been about the concept of humility. When giving the talk in the U.S., I already felt like a hypocrite as I preached the concept to them knowing it was my biggest struggle. I had hit a point this summer where I was done, ready to be home, and had very much hit a wall with my faith. God has once again given me a very gentle slap in the face, and shown me what humility is all about. We arrived midday in the Dominican Republic on Sunday, and I already knew I was in trouble. It has been the most humbling experience being in an area where very few people speak English. The Spanish language is a passion of mine, and I used to be extremely good at reading, listening to, and speaking the language. Unfortunately it is NOT like riding a bicycle as I have not used it for two years now, and I have lost so much. Simple things like verbs and nouns that I used to know like the back of my hand are difficult for me to remember. When asked a question, it is as if I freeze on the spot trying to decipher the meaning, and it is always too late to respond when I figure it out. In our staff, the boy here with me, Caleb, is known for saying silly things to which the group gives him a hard time. As my team member, I have taken on the role of mother in many cases, reminding 19 year old Caleb when to act like an adult and such. I usually have most of the responsibility with the groups we are leading, and am typically telling him what to do and where to be. Here in the DR, our roles have swapped completely as he is near fluent in Spanish. He is a necessary part of my experience as I constantly need him to tell them whatever we need to say. I still comprehend very well... too well in fact as they tend to assume I am dumb because I cannot speak the language fluently. Unfortunately, I am able to understand what they are saying about me, and it is breaking my heart. I am never the "dumb" one of any group, yet here I am... yet another stupid American who cannot speak Spanish. I realized as I felt myself tear up for the tenth time in the past 24 hours that Christ was merely trying to humble me. He is showing me how much I need to remove my pride, my stupid U.S. arrogance, my need to feel worthy or smart, and trust solely on Him throughout this experience. No matter what... I am merely His hands as I do His work here. It is not about me, what I am feeling, what I want or need or miss... it is about helping Him. So here I am, completely humbled and broken... I know He will fill me with the love and strength that only He can give me.

Although I may not understand everything and I cannot speak Spanish fluently, I can work hard to help those around me and I can love on all of those I come into contact with. Thankfully those are two universal qualities that any place appreciates.

El Morro

We successfully finished our first mission trip on Thursday... YAY! We painted the teacher apartments, landscaped the entire school, landscaped three yards for the elderly, painted two other houses for the elderly, and put on a successful Vacation Bible School. We got a lot accomplished, the kids left full and happy, and our leader was happy with the week. Take two on Sunday night. :)

It was a little bittersweet watching them all leave on Thursday morning. There are quite a few of them who I connected with greatly, and I'm excited that I'll be able to see some of them when our team travels to South Texas next Sunday. Apparently part of the group is cooking us authentic Mexican food. :) :) Unfortunately, the rest of the staff also departed Thursday morning at the same time, and only three of us are left in New Mexico for the group arriving tomorrow night. I can't even tell you how lonely it is with everyone gone. I only met these people three weeks ago and I already miss them greatly! We have truly become a family... even with all of our differences. I can't wait to see all of them again for mission trips in Joplin at the end of the summer. :)

Because the group left on Thursday morning and the next one doesn't arrive until Sunday night, we have been able to relax and enjoy some of the features in New Mexico. Yesterday we were able to hike a 2.5 mile trail at El Morro. It was BREATHTAKING. Pretty strenuous getting up there for a second, but well worth it with the views. There are ruins at the top of the trail, and that was also extremely interesting to see. I took about 50 pictures and can't wait to share them!

This past week was very busy, to the point where I didn't realize that I hadn't updated this in awhile. I am doing much, much better. We have been hiking and found a local gym that lets us go for free, so that has taken a lot of stress off of my back. Although I miss home greatly, I am really enjoying my experience here and the opportunities I have been given. I have two weeks until I'll be flying into Atlanta for the night, so that is getting me through.

Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, and words of encouragement. :)

Vanity

One of the skits we are putting on over the next few days involves a girl ignoring Jesus and wearing different "masks" with each group she encounters. For the purpose of the high schoolers we're teaching, we chose things like vanity, drinking, sex,   material goods, etc. I was given the role of vanity, and I get her to change her clothes and wear jewelry and such to my liking. It felt like I was just playing a role, but over the past few days... I'm struggling internally with this myself. I have worked REALLY hard over the past few months to get my body to where I was semi comfortable with myself. Here, I don't get to exercise much because of lack of time, I don't get to choose what I eat or when, and I'm watching all of my hard work go straight down the drain. I'm writing this because I need prayers, big time. I am really struggling with this, and it's distracting me from my purpose here. I am past the point of tears and want to be home taking care of myself. I'm only two weeks in and my attitude is shifting negatively. I'm over sleeping on the floor and waking up with 10 new bug bites, I'm over cold showers, I'm over not working out, and I'm very over eating foods that I would never eat at home. Please pray that I can get over myself, literately, to focus fully on my God that I'm serving. 

I am so grateful for the amazing people that I'm working with, and the students I've gotten to meet this week. There is just nothing like being surrounded by Catholics and the Lord. It has been a long time since I have been able to worship the Lord with the voice He blessed me with and simply get lost in the music. There are a lot of wonderful singers here and I've thoroughly enjoyed praising Him with them. I have earned the nickname of Jasmine for breaking out into A Whole New World with one of the guys here. The Lord has also blessed our group with laughter, and if anything... I've got to be getting abs from laughing so hard that I can't breathe. Even at my weakest moments here, I will be forever blessed and forever changed by this experience. Not to mention I know that if I can survive this... I can survive camping when I get home. ;) 

Today we had the opportunity to climb the Mesa. It was absolutely beautiful!! A lot of the group just took the trail, but a few of us decided to make our own trail... straight up. :) Getting up there was difficult at times, but the view of God's beautiful creation was more than worth it. It was nice to take a break from pulling weeds and painting houses. 

Thank you Jesus for another beautiful day!